Padre — Bobby Abate

I kept this sketch book of drawings in 2021/2022 as my dad was in his final stages of battling demensia. Anyone who has experienced a loved one afflicted with disease knows how devastating the protracted journey is. My dad passed in November 2021, until that point I had never seen a photo of him younger than 20 years old. I had no idea what he looked like, and I had no relationship wth his family, even though they lived only a couple miles from our house when I was growing up. When I finally got to see photos of him just before he died, the feeling was akin to seeing a ghost. In an Italian-American household, men are raised not to show emotions — above all not with each other. Making these drawings allowed me to finally open up a bond of love and vulnerability with my dad. I got to be there holding my father’s hand at the moment of his death. I played his favorite oldies and encouraged him to go to the other side and be with family on the side. In that moment, we had the closest bond of our lives. A few days later he appeared in my dream. He thanked me and told me he loved me, that is the drawing with the red chair.

Ink, watercolor, colored pencil, pen and graphite on 6x6.625” Stonehenge paper.